Kadence Dawn- My little sparkle

Where does the time go? Kadence will be 5 years old tomorrow. How did that happen, when did I blink? She is my first miracle...ok my second, getting Ryan to marry me was my first. I will never forget the years of infertility appoinments, tests, surgerys and bad news. I thought I would never be a mom. Then after turning in all the adoption papers, and being chosen by different birthmothers only to have it not work out. When Kadence's birthmother Mindy chose us, Ryan knew it was different. I didn't want to get my hopes up again. Every couple who deals with infertility is told that a thousand times "have more faith". Like they aren't on thier knees in tears every night praying for just one. Knowing that each appointment will be different and that each month when the period comes just a day or two late, they hang onto those short days with hope and faith, that this time is different.

But Ryan as usual was right, Mindy did place her with us. She even asked me to be at the hospital with her. I went out to Utah early for the birth, Ryan was to follow me out and be there just before placement. But Kadence had plans of her own and decided not to come on the scheduled c-section day but to wait the three days for her Daddy to be there. I was so glad she did, Ryan and I paced the hospital floors waiting for word that she was here and everyone was okay. We got better then that, her birthgrandfather took us into the nursery and introduced us to our daughter. She was only 10 minutes old, even covered in goo with one ear pinned down from the birth she was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen. We spent everyday until placement at the hospital as much as we could. The hospital was wonderful, they even had a little adoption room off the nursery that we could spend time alone with her.

The night Mindy signed the papers and placed her with us was the most confusing, joyous and sad day of our lives up until that point. Those 7 days in the hospital we had grown to love Mindy and seeing her pain was like watching an emotional train wreck. But when we walked into the room Mindy ran into my arms and whispered in my ear, "You're a mom now." And we both cried.

Hard to believe that was almost five years ago. I call Kadence my little sparkle, she wakes up with a smile, takes her naps with a smile and giggles at bedtime when I tell her silly stories about about her and Cambelle. She never gets down for long, she bounces back to happy like a rubberband. She calms me and her firecracker sister when we get upset. Kadence adores her sister and calls her,"my bestest friend ever". She dotes on her baby brother Emmett, she has been a real help since he joined our little brood. She loves to help feed him, runs for the diapers and wipes to help change him and loves to stand in the bathtub and make him laugh when he takes his baths.

Kadence is the ideal eldest child...I don't think I really deserve her. But Ryan probably does so I give him the credit for her being ours. She is a total mama's girl and I love that. I think it is because she is more like Ryan, Cambelle's loyalties lie with Dad. I think for the same reason she is just like her mother! A real firecracker. They are a good combination for sisters, they bring out the best in each other and rely on each other completely. I hope they are always like that. My sister was always my best friend and my example.

I just wanted to say I love this little girl. I am so greatful it is her that made me a Mommy. Love everything about her, from her blue jean eyes, wild morning hair that won't stay tamed, to her infectious giggle. She is just a miracle...one of my favorites!